Top 3 of 2008

I was gonna try to come up with a Top 10 records of '08 list, but I could only come up with 3... hahaha! That's pretty damn sad, but here it is: my Top 3 of '08 list.

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GRAND MAGUS • Iron Will
Rise Above Records
Mammoth momentous Metal crushing everything in it's path. Not only the best record of the year, but the best record I've heard in years. This is REAL METAL!

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SYPHILITIC VAGINAS • Complete Studio Collection
Rescued From Life Records
Loved these guys right from jump street, and this CD has it all... all their LPs, 7"s, splits, cassettes, etc. etc. You can't go wrong. Throw BATHORY, G.I.S.M., MOTORHEAD, and BULLDOZER in a blender, and you'd be getting close to the insanity of SV.

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ENFORCER • Into The Night
Heavy Artillery Records
Top notch Speed Metal with piercing air raid siren vocals. If these Swedes don't get yer heart pumpin' you might need a defibrillator.

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Top 10 Downloads from ARGTHN

The Top 10 downloads from A Reasonable Guide To Horrible Noise in '08 were:
1. THRASHER • Burning At The Speed Of Light: This record sucks but for some reason it's hella popular
2. DAMIEN THORNE • The Sign Of The Jackal: this one is kinda surprising too, but at least it's a good record
3. SODOM • Obsessed By Cruelty: No surprise at all... this album rules!
4. BAPHOMET • Morbid Realities Demo: Fully support the heavy downloading of this Western New York gem
5. SYPHILITIC VAGINAS • Syphilitic Vaginas: Great shit!
6. CONFESSOR • Uncontrolled/Collapse Demos: Jaw droppingly good
7. OLIVER MAGNUM • Oliver Magnum: One of my old-tyme faves
8. SUDDEN DEATH • All Or Nothing: Cool RUNNING WILD wannabes
9. SAINT VITUS • The Walking Dead: Classic Doom doesn't get any better
10. WITCH CROSS • Fit For Fight: Definitely one of my best finds this year. This record is A number 1
I realize that this is a completely pointless list, cuz some records have been up for longer than others, but WTF... it's the end of the year, and what would it be without meaningless compilations of useless information?

THUNDERCRAAFT • Fighting For Survival LP

Boom Records 1984
Despite that brilliant album cover, THUNDERCRAAFT deliver mediocre middle of the road Metal that has more in common with 70's Rock than the ball crushing intensity that's usually associated German Metal. That's not to say that Fighting For Survival isn't a decent listen, it's just that it's not heavy... not even close. Clearly THUNDERCRAAFT were trying to muster all the menace they could, but they fall miserably short of the mark, coming off as a mild-mannered SCORPIONS rather than wildmen they aspired to be. OK, so it's not a particularly heavy record, but it's still fun in an innocent, lunkheaded sorta way. Download and become a wictim of THUNDERCRAAFT's Rock'n'Roll.
DOWNLOAD: Thundercraaft-FightingForSurvival.rar (80.16 MB)

SODOM • Pretenders To The Throne LP

Big Scrotum Records 2008
If you can listen to this record... and actually enjoy it, then you are one seriously hardcore motherfucker. Much more hardcore than me that's for damn sure. This near unlistenable bootleg erroneously states that this is an unreleased EP from '84... when really it's a rehearsal, or maybe a demo... I'm not exactly sure, but whatever it is, the quality is abysmal. Now I'm not one to shy away from shitty production values, or even inadequate musicianship, but you gotta draw the line somewhere... and this is where I draw mine. I love early SODOM but I will never listen to this record again... I'll leave that to you more hardcore muthas.
DOWNLOAD: Sodom-PretendersToTheThrone.rar (43.26 MB)

DESTRUCTORS • Merry Christmas And Fuck Off LP

Death Records 1983
Well... if this album title don't sum it all up perfectly! Aside from the title, the best thing about this slab is the Pushead cover art. The music? Meh... simplistic UK82 Punk that's not nearly aggressive or angry enough, and a singer who sounds more like the Daily Show's John Oliver than a proper frontman. Only Gizz Butt's solos are worthwhile, and even those barely hint at what a great guitar player he'd become. I was never big on this record, and time has not been kind to the DESTRUCTORS' brand of weak and predictably bland Punk... I do seem to recall that their live record was a bit better than this, but I won't be diggin' it out any time soon. Consider this your lump of coal.
DOWNLOAD: Destructors-MerryXmasAndFuckOff.rar (78.87 MB)

RAW POWER • Wop Hour 7"

Westworld 2008
Got suckered into buying this reissue (originally released in '85) simply because they tacked "Fuck Authority" on to the end of it. What's that? You've never heard "Fuck Authority"? Then stop reading and just download, cuz it's THE most ripping, vicious slice of hardcore Punk Rock to ever be loosed upon mankind. That fucking bass guitar in the middle! It was literally years before I even realized that that was even an instrument and not just obnoxious noise... and the cowbell, and the throat wrenching vocals... damn! The 4 songs that originally made up Wop Hour ain't not slouches either. "You are The Victim" and "Destroy" are the best of the bunch, cuz they sound like they coulda been on RAW POWER's 1984 masterpiece Screams From The Gutter LP, while "I Do What I Like" and "Factory" sound more like their underachieving After Your Brain record. Essential Italian Hardcore!
DOWNLOAD: RawPower-WopHour.rar (15.09 MB)
PS: Maybe it's just me, but every time I heard that damned PRODIGY song where he says: "Inhale, inhale, you are the victim", I thought to myself "Those limey bastards are ripping off RAW POWER"... they probably weren't, but they coulda been.

Today's Finds 12/16/08

When it rains it pours! Dropped by Hits & Misses and Discovery Records today... and got the BRATS record in the mail!
• Y&T "Earthshaker" LP: Classic!
• GLORIOUS BANKROBBERS "Dynamite Sex Doze" LP: I dug their first record, so I figured: what the eff? Plus it might be kinda rare.
• DICTATORS "Every Day Is Saturday" 2LP: Collection of demos and rarities... gonna rule of course. Top 10 is my favourite... is that weird? Is it weird that I even have a favourite?
• CROM "Hot Sumerian Nights" LP: I don't know anything about this band, but the album title made me laugh, and so did the song called "Banned in B.C.". Hopefully it's good shit.
• RAW POWER "Wop Hour" 7": Not sure why I bought this. I have the original... but this one has "Fuck Authority" added to it... which I also have in multiplicity. Bah! It's RAW POWER, so it's OK.
• BRATS "18th January 1981" LP: Came across this on eBay and had to have it. BRATS with King Diamond on vocals... I'm assuming I have these recordings somewhere, in some form, already, but I couldn't pass it up.

NEW YORK METAL-84 LP

Rockcity Records 1984
If this record is an accurate representation of Metal in New York City circa 1984, then I'm glad I grew up in Canada, cuz this is some seriously second rate shit. WARHEAD and CITIES start things off, and both offer decent HALLOWEEN-ish Metal, but then it's all downhill. TAKASHI are dreadfully bad, sounding very similar to KISS at their dullest and most pedestrian (picture "Getaway" played by even worse musicians). Unforunately there's two VIRGIN STEELE tracks to suffer through. The first is an almost 4 minute guitar wank-a-thon followed by their naff theme song. TEAZER are every bit as bad as their name suggests. One of this record's few highlights comes from BLACKLACE, who's brand of metallic barroom Rock is entertaining and just plain fun. The demo version of OVERKILL's "Feel The Fire" is painfully long, terribly dull, and sloppy. I've already completely forgotten DEATHSLAYER, but album closers FRIGID BICH are surprisingly good, in spite of the stupid name and stupider misspelling of it. It would be wrong of me to not comment on the cover shot... yes, that's a dude in a diaper. What in the fuck!?!?! Nothing says New York Metal like a soiled diaper.
DOWNLOAD: NewYorkMetal84.rar (78.14 MB)

WARRANT • The Enforcer LP

Noise Records 1985
I've never really been sure of what the distinction is (or if there even is one) between Speed Metal and Thrash Metal - the terms have always seemed interchangeable. Then I got to thinking about this German Metal masterpiece... it's not quite Thrash cuz it retains a very Heavy Metal feel, but it's much heavier and faster than yer typical 80's Metal record... yes folks, this IS Speed Metal, and what a shining example it is! Imagine Udo and Wolf Hoffman on a crazed amphetamine binge and you'll have an idea of how much ass "The Enforcer" kicks. WARRANT deliver the goods on every track, and what they lacked in originality (there's a track called "Nuns Have No Fun" for christsake!... not to mention "Die Young" and "Send Ya To Hell") they made up for in terminally catchy, monsterously anthemic Metal that never ceases to blow my mind. For years this has been one of my go-to records, and dare I say it... I listen to this way more than KREATOR and SODOM (but not DESTRUCTION - that would just be stupid). Can't recommend this one highly enough, every track is top-notch, and the drummer's name is Lothar Wieners (which has always struck me as being way funnier than it actually is). Do yourself a favour and download this straight away.
DOWNLOAD: Warrant-TheEnforcer.rar (71.74 MB)

PRETTY MAIDS • Pretty Maids EP

Bullet Records 1983
This record woulda been described as OTT back in the day... over the top. Well 4 of the 6 tracks are OTT and the other 2 are ballady and forgettable. "City Light" starts things off in fine fashion - an upbeat rocker that's kinda reminiscent of the NWOBHM, which, along with THIN LIZZY, was a big influence on these Danes. Speaking of THIN, "Bad Boys" starts off with a distinctly "Angel Of Death"-ish intro before breaking into a fast, in your face barrage of early 80's OTT Metal. "Shelly The Maid" is PRETTY MAIDS' take on "Charlotte The Harlot", and is also the best song on this, their debut EP. Furthering the MAIDEN comparison is vocalist Ronnie Atkins who sounds an awful lot like Di'Anno... not bad at all! Think you're ready to go over the top? Then get ta downloading bitch!
DOWNLOAD: PrettyMaids-PrettyMaidsEP.rar (46.65 MB)

TUNES FOR FUCKER Vol. 2 LP

Tunes For Fucker Records 2007
Like a lot of people outside of Japan, and particularly in North America, my only exposure to Japanese Hardcore was through compilations. Meaning I was familiar with all the same bands you probably were (G.I.S.M., LIP CREAM, KURO, THE STALIN, etc.). Through mp3 blogs, and SYPHILITIC VAGINAS, I recently discovered the greatness of ZOUO, so when I saw TUNES FOR FUCKER Vol. 2 I had to grab it. Along with ZOUO's "The Final Agony" 7", TFF2 contains a TRANQUILIZER flexi, a MANBIKI CHOCOLATE 8", and G-SPOT's "Radical & Shout" 7". I really know nothing about any of these bands, but ZOUO sound very similar to G.I.S.M. (especially the vocals), and judging by the song titles have a Satanic lyrical direction. The 6 TRANQUILIZER tracks are blazingly fast walls of sheer distortion (lots of info re: TRANQUILIZER here). G-SPOT are kinda crappy Punk Rock that doesn't do much for me, but MANBIKI CHOCOLATE are killer, and easily my favourite of the 4 bands on TFF2. I'm gonna assume that all of these records are extremely rare, making TUNES FOR FUCKER Vol. 2 a pretty cool package.
DOWNLOAD: TunesForFuckerVol2.rar (77.45 MB)

PITTBULL • Pittbull LP

Nemesis Records 1991
Detroit's PITTBULL play NY inpsired Hardcore/Metal that's heavily influenced by the CRO-MAGS, REST IN PIECES, KILLING TIME et al. and as a result winds up sounding a lot like Buffalo's ZERO TOLERANCE. Similar influences = similar sound, but PITTBULL are slightly more Punk and less Metal than ZT, at times even reminding me of BLACK FLAG. Pretty damn good record! The mile a minute vocal workout of "You Deserve Worse" is excellent, as is "Burn", but "Cold Grin" (a take on "Cold Gin"?) is the standout for me. It's the most intricate and Metal track on the record (main riff is pure HM... almost PRIEST-ish) and kinda discordant too. Unlike most NYHC, PITTBULL don't come across as being overly macho/testosterone driven which is a definite plus in my books. If NYHC is your thing, then you're pretty much guaranteed to dig this record.
DOWNLOAD: Pittbull-Pittbull.rar (52.72 MB)

Today's Finds 12/5/08

Hit up Rotate This for the first time in a long time, and was pleasantly surprised by their used Metal. Someone musta just unloaded their collection, so I picked up a few things:
• ALIEN "Cosmic Fantasy" EP: Don't know a thing about these guys, but one look at the cover and I was sold!
• PITBULL "Pitbull" LP: Some old friends used to rave about how great PITBULL were... I've never heard 'em, but if I remember correctly, they were comparable favourably to the CRO-MAGS... we'll see.
• WILD DOGS "Wild Dogs" LP: I really dug that DR. MASTERMIND record, so hopefully this is on par.

ATTILA • Rolling Thunder LP

Shattered Records 1986
New York Heavy Metal maniacs ATTILA offer up 9 pounding Metal anthems that (much like this poorly crafted sentence) borrow heavily from Canadian Power Metal stalwarts EXCITER. Didn't think much of "Rolling Thunder" after my first listen, but once "Urban Commandos" crept into my subconscious, I couldn't get enough! Even though "Urban Sombrero" woulda been a better title. Straight up fist pounding Metal with a military/nuclear war lyrical angle. The cover of "School's Out" is totally forgettable... but then again, most ALICE COOPER covers are - MEGADETH and ANTHRAX (and innumerable others I'm sure) have attempted to replicate the COOP with equally disappointing results. This record isn't outstanding by any stretch, but it's decent, and definitely worth checking out... even if it's just for "Urban Sombrero"... er, I mean commando.
DOWNLOAD: Attila-RollingThunder.rar (68.83 MB)

Today's Finds 12/1/08

Found all kindsa good shit at Hits & Misses today... gonna be a while before I can go back so I figured I should stock up:
TUNES FOR FUCKER Vol. 2 LP: Comp of Japanese Hardcore that's got ZOUO on it (along with TRANQUILIZER, MANBIKI CHOCOLATE, and G-SPOT) so I couldn't pass it up.
MIDNIGHT "Farewell To Hell" 10": Shouldn't have to explain.
ENERGY VAMPIRES "Energy Vampires" 2LP: Never mind ENERGY VAMPIRES... Hits & Misses is a cash vampire... sucking that shit right outta my wallet! This is a beautiful package so I hadta buy it... never heard of 'em though.
GERM ATTAK "A Bleak Future" 7": Crusty Punk from Ottawa... really just bought this cuz they're from Ottawa, and I kinda remember their stuff on myspace being good.
-->HIRAX/F.K.Ü. Split 7": You gotta respect Katon and HIRAX for stickin' it out all this time, and I really dug that F.K.U. "Horror Metal Moshing Machine" 7"... should be good.